Hey, I realised that I haven't posted in awhile. Sigh, I guess I've been caught up with the whirlwind that is my life. Lots of things have happened since I last posted. Like student leaders investiture, teachers' day celebrations and many other stuff. I feel like I've not really been myself lately. I mean I am still me but somehow it feels a little umcomfortable sometimes.

I think I'm going backwards. Instead of becoming more mature, I think I've become more immature. I often find myself getting irritated at very small things, it's not like I want to but sometime I just do. And then, I have to go through the entire internal conflict with myself to rationalise with myself and try not to be an immature brat. I don't know what's wrong with me. I think it's a mid-life crisis and I'm going to die at 30. Sigh, I really don't know. Just to make matters worst, exams are coming. I'm going through the motion and studying but I know nothing is going in. There's so many wrongs that I have to make right, that I don't even know where to start.

Just recently, I found out the word/words that trigger and unleash all the fury I try so hard to keep in. If you watched Hancock then you would understand what I'm talking about. You know when people call Hancock an "asshole" he gets really annoyed and punches the living daylights out of that person? yup, that the feeling I get when someone tells me to "go away". I think those words trigger something deep inside me that should never be know or seen to anyone. I don't even think that the magnitude of the rage, frustration, anger, hurt and fury that is unleashed when i person says "go away" is even human. My guess is that it's just all the pent up emotions that I've put away somewhere deep inside me. But I can't be sure. Sigh, I really hate those words. Not sure why, but I just do. I don't think I can take to rejection. Ok, now the whole world knows my weakness and can use it against me, great. Just great.