Joan

2009-12-20T21:55:00.001+08:00

2009-12-15T22:58:00.001+08:00

Best threat ever!

2009-12-08T17:46:00.002+08:00

"I have never stopped loving you"
It felt like he was really speaking to me. Like he has always heard my prayers. I felt so loved, so warm like nothing could ever hurt me again.

2009-11-23T16:16:00.000+08:00

2009-11-22T18:15:00.003+08:00

I started the mission thinking of how I could help them,
but I ended the mission thinking of how much they have helped me.

Joan

2009-11-22T17:43:00.005+08:00

It's been awhile. So many things have happened. I don't rightly know where to start. I realised that I can't seem to remember anything that happened before chiang rai. It was like my life before chiang rai somehow got wiped out from my memory, as if it didn't have enough significance for me to remember it. In some way it is true. After chiang rai, everything seems to have been put into perspective for me. Personality wise I haven't seem to change much, but deep inside I can feel like something has shifted. It's the kind of change where you seem to do and see things in a whole new perspective, as if I've suddenly become aware of everything around me and living life a little more conscious that before. Have I spent 15 years of my life asleep? Because it definitely feels like it. I can't really describe this change, but it feels good. It's like I'm more alive.

After chiang rai was council camp. Physically I was extremely tired, but emotionally I somehow felt awake. I could get through the day with 4 hours of sleep, which is by far amazing for me because for those who know me, I sleep alot. I could get through the day with a smile, without snapping at someone. I don't know how I did it but somehow I did. I kinda died on the last day though. I could actually feel my body shutting down. Like if i sat down for awhile, i would've fallen asleep, but I pulled through with loads of encouragement from the exco. Sigh, I really don't know what I'd be without them. I've seen them everyday since school ended, their like my new family. I love them:)

2009-10-10T20:02:00.002+08:00

LOOK! I DREW NEMO:D

2009-10-01T21:05:00.002+08:00

I effing hate her. I wish that she would just fall off a building right now. I swear, no one would miss her. She's such an effing ignorant, fugly a*shole. Can't she see the trend? Every class that she has taught since the cursed day she effing stepped foot into this school, has failed in all aspect of the subject. Then, miraculously attained an A for O levels because of the miracle known as "a good teacher". I mean is she freakin blind. Can't she just resign and save the rest of the generations from retardation of the mind. Is she that ignorant? I guess she's too freakin caught up in her own little world to notice the massive damage she's causing to generations of pupils that unfortunately fall victim to her terrible teaching.

I don't even care if she reads this, no, I hope she does read this so she can freakin wake up her idea. But, no I don't think she even cares. I just want to put her in a barrel and roll her down a long flight of stairs then take her out and pour concentrated sulfuric, hydrochloric and nitric acid on her face. And if I'm up to it, I'll shave all her hair off, down to the roots. Then, send her to the hospital so she'll live to feel the pain. Yes, that would indeed be satisfying. I don't care if I sound like a freakin maniac, just know that it's all because of her. I want her hurt and full of pain.

One day she'll die and everyone will know it's me. but I don't care anymore. She's just too full of sh*t to roam this planet. Tomorrow, if she comes into class, I have a plan all ready for execution. So watch out....

2009-09-27T21:20:00.003+08:00

Hey, I realised that I haven't posted in awhile. Sigh, I guess I've been caught up with the whirlwind that is my life. Lots of things have happened since I last posted. Like student leaders investiture, teachers' day celebrations and many other stuff. I feel like I've not really been myself lately. I mean I am still me but somehow it feels a little umcomfortable sometimes.

I think I'm going backwards. Instead of becoming more mature, I think I've become more immature. I often find myself getting irritated at very small things, it's not like I want to but sometime I just do. And then, I have to go through the entire internal conflict with myself to rationalise with myself and try not to be an immature brat. I don't know what's wrong with me. I think it's a mid-life crisis and I'm going to die at 30. Sigh, I really don't know. Just to make matters worst, exams are coming. I'm going through the motion and studying but I know nothing is going in. There's so many wrongs that I have to make right, that I don't even know where to start.

Just recently, I found out the word/words that trigger and unleash all the fury I try so hard to keep in. If you watched Hancock then you would understand what I'm talking about. You know when people call Hancock an "asshole" he gets really annoyed and punches the living daylights out of that person? yup, that the feeling I get when someone tells me to "go away". I think those words trigger something deep inside me that should never be know or seen to anyone. I don't even think that the magnitude of the rage, frustration, anger, hurt and fury that is unleashed when i person says "go away" is even human. My guess is that it's just all the pent up emotions that I've put away somewhere deep inside me. But I can't be sure. Sigh, I really hate those words. Not sure why, but I just do. I don't think I can take to rejection. Ok, now the whole world knows my weakness and can use it against me, great. Just great.

2009-08-05T20:57:00.000+08:00

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! CLARICE, NATASHA ROD, NIC LUMMIE is in COUNCIL!!!!! heeheeheee. i'm so happy. ok that's all:D

2009-07-27T21:34:00.000+08:00

*sigh* The world is crashing down on me....HAHA, ok not really but as for now i feel like crap. I have a slight fever which makes my body ache like crap. A cough that makes me sound like a sick dog. And a sore throat that makes me sound like a man... *sigh* why does life have to be so tragic... Ok, i think I'm being a little too dramatic. But to a certain extent it is true. I just wanna curl up in bed and never wake up again. I'm not turing suicidal, in case you're worried but I'm just really tired. I'm physically, mentally and socially tried. sometimes i just wish i was introverted, so that i wouldn't have complicated friendship to deal with. I mean i really love all my friends but just sometime i wish that. *sigh* I think this is the medication talking, i have no idea what on earth i'm saying...

Well, on a lighter note, polling week started today!!!! yippie! I can finally vote for my awesome friends who totally deserve thes leadership roles. Great and fantastic people... haha. anyways, clara, regina, mel lee and other people are sick together with me so i'm not alone.. *sigh* this flu thing is damn annoying. i just hope it blows over soon...

Ah well, TTFN. Promise to post soon:D

2009-06-26T21:18:00.002+08:00

heehee! i found this note on facebook (actually it was from Odelia but whatever) it's pretty cool. But i didn't want to post it on facebook because i know how annoying it is to receive emails about how you've been tagged on a note... anyway, enjoy:D

Step 1: Put your music player on shuffle.
Step 2: Post a line from the first 25 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing
Step 3: Strike through the songs when someone guesses both artiste and track correctly.
Step 4: For those who are guessing - looking the lyrics up on a search engine is CHEATING!
Step 5: If you like the game post your own.

1. you turned around so i could tell you what took so long
2. It's your freshman year, and you're gonna be here for the next four years this time
3. Buttons on the phone, wore thin
4. where your hopes and dream and wishes live, where you keep the rest of your life hidden
5. when it hasn't been your day, your week, your month or even your year
6. but i ain't giving you up, you got that something i can't get enough of.
7. i know it's hard on a rainy day, you wanna shut the world out and just be left alone
8. it's not always rainbow and butterflies, its compromise, it moves us along
9. life's like a novel with the end ripped out
10. you are, who you wear, it's true [even i don't believe this]
11. i try to keep it simple, coz i hate goodbyes
12. as we go on, we remember, all the times we had together
13. i thought that i had everything, i didn't know what life could bring
14. tell me why, you're so hard to forget
15. nothings gonna stop me but divine intervention
16. she's always on my mind, there's no room left for thinking
17. she acts like summer and walks like rain
18. I'm part of you, indefinitely
19.you were always there when i looked back
20. when I'm speaking, it's a voice of someone else
21. this is the moment, time is racing, slow it down
22.sometimes a gift like this you can't deny
23.they say that good things take time, but really great things happen in a blink of an eye
24. and every magazine tells her she's not good enough
25. i started believing that i could be wrong.

OK that's 25 songs!!!! yay! good luck guessing

2009-06-14T17:52:00.003+08:00

HAHA. I found this on sarah toh's blog. Quite entertaining
[x] Both of your parents are from Asia
[x] You were born in Asia
[ ] You use the term "Azn"
[ ] You think DDR is cool
[ ] You've watched lots of anime
[ ] You like Korean drama
[x] You have stuff hanging on your phone
[ ] You think your parents want you to marry within your own race
[ ] You eat rice almost everyday
[x] You drink lemon tea

X's so far: 4

[ ] You style your hair
[ ] You have a bebo/myspace/friendster
[x] You speak languages other than English
[x] Your parents are strict
[ ] Your parents have high expectations of you
[ ] You always get A's/B's on your report
[x] You do Chemistry/Biology/Physics/Accounting
[x] You know your multiplication table
[ ] You play badminton or table tennis or Irish Pingpong
[ ] You've seen the asian version The ring/The grudge

X's so far: 8

[x] You go/want to go to a university and would NEVER consider an apprenticeship
[x] You own an asian car (Honda, Toyota, etc)
[x] You're not the only child
[x] You've gotten little red envelopes around February (Chinese New Year)
[ ] You know the difference between kung fu, karate and tae kwon do
[x] Your mother tries to bargain even though the product is already discounted
[ ] You can solve a rubiks cube
[x] You have a box of noodles somewhere in your house
[x] You play video games

X's so far: 15

[x] Everytime you're going out, your parents ask you where you're going and what time you'll be home
[ ] You have karaoke at home
[ ] You've been to a LAN more than 3 times
[ ] You have incense sticks/moth balls in your house
[ ] You own a gaming console
[x] You don't wear shoes in your house
[x] You can use chopsticks
[x] You get nothing if you do well in school, but punished if you don't

X's so far: 19

[ ] Your parents won't let you go out if you have school the next day
[x] You have asian songs on your computer/iPod

X's so far: 20

[x] You have a curfew
[ ] You know what ulzzang/tb means
[ ] You know what purikura is
[x] You like bubble tea
[x] Your parents bought you shoes many sizes too big so you can "grow into it" and wear it for years to come
[ ] You've played final fantasy
[ ] You believe in fortune cookies

X's so far: 23

[ ] You know what is bok choy
[ ] You've heard the song "Got rice?" (Asian Pride)
[x] You've had pocky/yan yan before
[x] When you ask for your mum's permission she goes "ask your dad"

X's so far: 25

Total X's: 25

Multiply your total score by 2 and put the subject as I am 50% Asian
HAHA. Like all the other things in life.. i just passed as asian too:D

2009-06-13T21:44:00.002+08:00

LIFE'S LIKE A NOVEL WITH THE END RIPPED OUT

ARGH.... I really don't like posting so often because it's just not like me to do it but whatever mann i got things to say and i will say it! :D

A BIG shout out to SABRINA(who is without a doubt AWESOME) She's the best. Thanks for everything. YOU ROCK!!!!

Ok now down to the highlight (more like the nightmare of the century). I'm made the top 10 in running for the exco... OH CRAP! It's like becoming all too real for me. I don't think I can take it. I like self-denial. I practically thrive on it sometimes (especially in this situation). TOP 10! AHHH! ok I reallly got to calm down.... this is bad, bad, bad ,bad. I just realised something even more tragic. All the councillors in 3/5 are in the running as well..... ARGH!!!! Not saying it's bad but let's face it we're all gonnna die.... AHHHHHHH. ok just ignore this post it's my way of letting it all out. except for the Sabrina part. she still rocks!

2009-06-12T00:11:00.004+08:00

TUCANAE ROCKS!!!!!

Oh my gosh. I just read the AWESOME people from SLC's blogs and I realised that i didn't thank them for the fun and joy they let me have. SO sorry guys... I've really been to caught up with things. so sorry. Anyway you guys ROCK!!!! and will always have a place in my memories:D love yall mann. thanks for the friendships forged and the great experiences. I'm gonna miss yall....

2009-06-10T18:00:00.008+08:00

SOMETIMES LIFE FEELS LIKE A CHAPTER OF GOODBYES

Hey. I felt like posting today. So many things have been going on in my life, I kinda got caught up in the whirlwind of life over the past few weeks and haven't had the time to really sit down and think.

Well lets see, when exams finished there was IJ fiesta to prepare for so it wasn't what I would call relaxing, but it was fun. Staying back in school to prepare the props for the haunted house and rushing like crazy-nuts people really made me feel the love and warmth of 3/5. I'm so glad I chose 3/5 as a class to graduate and spent my last years in IJ with, I wouldn't trade it up for anything.

After IJ fiesta, there as the inter-class games which was pretty fun despite the heat. I guess with the class already so bonded the inter-class games only made our bond stronger. When school ended, I was kinda sad to leave but it's only a month, how hard could it possibly be. BUT now, I miss Clarice, Janet, Lin ying, Cherie, Clara, Regina and even Odelia (sometimes :D)

Last week I went for Hwa Chong's 15th Student leaders convention. I was awesome!!! I made so many friends and met so many people. Even though I suspect that my facil doesn't really like me... it was pretty fun getting to know so many people. I attended with Saira, Sarah, Chien Wen and Sabrina so imagine how crazy it was. The grand finale was the best part of the entire thing, everyone was so hyped up and the atmosphere was fantastic. *sigh* now that i think about it.. I kinda miss it.

And then came the most horrifying thing of aaaalllllll. EX CO interviews. I was so afraid before, during and after the interview. Before the interview, I was absolutely certain that I will never ever ever put myself through the torture of being in ex co (after what I've seen the current one go through). I went in to the room all sure of myself and that I would reject the position and move on with my life as if nothing changed. BUT, the teachers said things that confused me.... and then i didn't feel so sure. They told me that being in EX CO is a once in a lifetime opportunity that only 7 students in the entire school population get to experience. *sigh* I came out so confused... they gave me another day to mull over it. So here I am now, thinking. I talked with my parents and they were really great except they left the decision back to me. I know that if i were to join ex co, my life would turn upside down and I have to give up a lot of things. And I don't know if I'm ready to do that... *sigh* life is so complicated. Anyway, if you wanted to know, I agree in the end to going into the elections and by God's grace I really hope I make it to the end of next year alive. God help us all...

Yesterday I watched the Hannah Montana movie. And I loved the songs!!! (oh and Lucas Till is quite cute:D). Miley's face really disturbed me but i must say the show was pretty good:D OK I guess I'll go now, life goes on.

2009-05-06T11:43:00.002+08:00

hahha!!! this is my first post of the year and its already may. heehee, well you can't blame me, i have a life too you know. anyway, since it's the exam period, i just thought i'd do something inspirational.

I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts, or fears

But i can listen to you,

and together we will search for answers.

I can't change your past with all its heartache and pain,

nor the future with its untold stories.

But i can be there now when you need me to care.

I can't keep your feet from stumbling.

I can only offer you my hand that you may grasp it and not fall

Your joys, triumphs, successes and happiness are not mine;

yet i can share in your laughter

Your decisions in life are not mine to make,

nor to judge;

i can only support you, encourage you,

and help you when you ask.

I can't prevent you from falling away from friendship, from your values,

from me.

I can only pray for you, talk to you and wait for you.

I can't give you boundaries which

I have determined for you,

but i can give you the room to change, room to grow,

room to be yourself

I can't kepp your heart from breaking and hurting,

but I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces

and put it back in place.

I can't tell you who you are.

I can only love you and

hope to be you friend forever

2008-12-30T22:52:00.003+08:00

Hey y'all!!! You know today I watched the funniest show ever!!! Twilight!!! hahahaha. It was so hilarious... Rob Pattinson look either constipated, nauseous or perverted. I was so freakin funny... but it was 2 hours of my life that I will never get back. Extreme waste of time. But I have to say... Kristen Stewart is a very good actress. You know everyone in the show looks better that Edward... even jasper who constantly looked like he was in pain. Kristen and Robert seriously have no chemistry and the whole movie was so UN-understandable. *sigh* sad show mann... I'm glad their changing director.

I went to watch the movie with Clara, Wei Jia and Rachel. Omg rachel and her madness. She sat next to me and complained the whole time about how suckie the show was. Poor me, right? I had to listen to it throughout the whole show.... The only saving grace of the day was going to Boarders to but cliff notes.... reading it is so enlightening..

After parting with my friends I went to meet my mum at coffee club for desserts!! hmmm..... apple crumble...then, we went to get my cardigan (finally). So now I'm quite happy... and I found one very nice long sleeve top. so happy:D OK i guess that's my exciting day...

And now guess what I'm doing???? council, to be more specific, cluster camp. It's so stressful, I'm getting pimples on my forehead...and I already have my freckles...save me.

2008-12-27T12:54:00.002+08:00

GKA PHOTOS

group photo

another group photo

heck mann.. they are all group photos

2008-12-27T12:42:00.002+08:00

Heeeellllllllooooooos! I didn't get to post on Christmas....so sad. oh well.. it's not like my Christmas was exciting or anything. Actually it was freakin boring! OK, put aside the fact that i don't get presents (except the awesome ray bans from my dad), the parties I attend were..how you might say.... boring!

Haiz.... the only consolation is my mum's AWESOME ox-tail stew.... ahhhhh the ox-tail stew....only comes round once a year.... OK I'm starting to salivate. But it really is damn good. oh, you know my sister got a bike for Christmas (from my dad and mum). so now she's forced to learn how to ride it. hahahhaha. good luck to her. OK I starting to get hungry. let me go look for some food and I'll get back to you soon.....(which in Joan terms is next month:D)

2008-12-05T18:51:00.002+08:00

Hey. How have your holidays been??? Mine seems as though it never started to begin with. My schedule is so packed with council and cca that I hardly have anytime to do anything for myself. And you know what? I have to bring my laptop along for my trip to Vietnam so that I can complete the proposal for the primary school cluster camp ( it's a leadership camp for primary school kids).

Haiz... so stressful.... well at least it gives me something to do:D anyway, I'm starting to not like sailing training (even more than last time) because it suddenly seem so dangerous to me. Like it has a very high danger level compared to the other CCAs. When I capsized during the previous training, i felt so helpless. And the feeling of not being able to feel the ground under my feet.... it's almost terrifying. I know I sound like some paranoid kid but that's just the way i feel. It's so scary....

I went for PSL training yesterday and now I'm just afraid that i won't be live up to expectation. I have absolutely no idea how to deal with the different types of people that might be in the class that I'm taking. But I'm very grateful that the rest of the PSLs in the group are nice people:D

OK I have to go and eat dinner now. I'll update more later...

OH!! And I can't wait to watch twilight:D

2008-10-29T22:46:00.003+08:00

Hi again! I'm posting for the second time in one day. Isn't that amazing?!? Anyway, i felt this compulsive need to get something off my chest. So here it goes....

I love my mum. Yup, it's probably stupid and very random but I love her. I think that I've not given her the credit she rightfully deserves. And this is not some random realisation. I asked her earlier tonight if I could go for the Movie Marathon at Clara's house and then daringly asked her if i could also stay over. I expected a big, fat, ugly NO. But she just stared at me and ask "what time will you be back the next day." I kind of took me by surprise. I never in my wildest dreams expected her to agree, she usually not the sort, trust me. I asked her again if she really let me go and you know what she said? (brace yourself. you're gonna need Kleenex) "Yeah. I mean it's the last time you'll probably be with your friends in the same class, so I guess I'm ok with it. " SO nice right....

I immediately felt guilty for all the times I said she didn't understand me. That's why I said i didn't give her enough credit. She deserves way more. I love you Mummy :D

2008-10-29T19:11:00.002+08:00

Hey. How have you guys been? I've been.... well you can't exactly say awesome but I'm doing okay. Holiday has started. I'm still getting used to the freedom of being exam-less (at least for now). Life has been pretty slow lately. I haven't been rushing here and there to get things done and I've been doing mostly what I want. So I guess I'm quite content.

I've watched High School Musical 3 with Rachel and Wei Jia on Sunday. I thought the movie was okay. Not thaaaat great but bearable. Then again who am I to judge when half the time I was trying to block rachel and wei jia's singing (in attempt to annoy me, i might add)rather than actually watching the movie. But I looovvvee the songs though(when not sung by you certain people). Definitely buying the soundtrack. It will probably be the first High School Musical soundtrack I'll ever buy. I couldn't be bothered with the rest of them.

Today I watched Eagle Eye on my own (I know it sounds loser-ish). And I absolutely loved it! It was the show my Dad would have enjoyed but he was caught up with work, couldn't join me (wish he did though). But I kinda didn't tell my mum I watched the show so SSSHHHHH, don't tell her. I told my Dad so it was ok, i had parental permission.

Ok I'm really hungry right now. All I had today was popcorn and green tea. And that's hardly a meal so TTFN. I'll post really soon.... :D

2008-10-14T16:15:00.003+08:00

Hey. This will probably be my most depressing post yet, but i really need to get this out.

I know the feeling when you've tried really hard.
Like you know in yourself that you've done everything
in your power to do things to the best of your ability
but somehow.... it doesn't work out.
You fall so short of what you expected you would achieve.
Ever had that feeling?

Yeah.. that's how i feel.

I know in my heart that I've done everything I ever could to do well..
but somehow I just don't do as well as i expect to do.
You could blame it on my high expectation, but I don't even expect that high.
It just so disappointing, to know that you've tried so hard
and yet....

I feel so lost... I just don't know what to do anymore.
I'm sorry.

2008-10-11T23:55:00.003+08:00

Hey!!! The exams are finally oooovvveeeerrr!!!! Realisation still hasn't exactly hit me yet but I'm getting there.. Anyway, to kick off my End Of Exams (hence forth known as EOE), Pinkie, Clara, Valerie, Nisha and I decide to ditch all plans of staying back in school to paint our stupid ceramics (frankly, I don't know why the hell we wanted to do that in the first place) and went to Pinkie's house to play!! Hahah i know it sounds something a 5 year-old would say. Well..we did actually play. We played table tennis and Wii!!

Table tennis was hilarious. We ended up not touching the table at all. It kinda became air tennis instead of table. Before we got to Pinkie's house we went to eat Prata, which I must say, was awesome. Their Ice Milo was like huge! Didn't think I would finish it, but I did. The weather was freakin' warm. SO... back to playing Wii. It was damn funn... and quite amusing to watch other people play. All of us played until our arms ached but we still kept playing... hahah damn fun...

Now I'm down with muscle ache and a slight flu... quite depressing, but I won't let that stop me from claiming back my rightful fun, that I think deserve for working so blooody hard. YEAH... so that's basically all I have for you guys now... yupp, OK I'll just go now...

*I'm not the biggest fan of Scarlett Johansson but i somehow like this picture a lot..

2008-07-24T20:24:00.004+08:00

hey. I know I haven't been posting and I'm really sorry but I've been a little caught up with school work and stuff. School's been really tough (mainly because a lot of my teachers suck) (no offence). Today Wei jia, Clarice, Clara and I came up with the analogy of how our teachers build the foundation of our studies and from what we have come up with things aren't looking too good for us. Of course the teachers have no loss in giving us lousy education because their not the ones sitting for the exams. *sigh* stupid teachers. I know it's mean of me to say all this and i probably sound like I don't value education(which i do) but i mean come on! you can't possibly expect me to pretend i actually like these teachers of mine. Life's like that mann...

Anyway.... today Mrs Tan (the science teacher) announced to the class that there's going to be a Brisbane trip during the September holidays but as usual I can't go. This time i made that decision. I'm not going for the trip for these reasons

1. It's too near the examination and if i don't do well I'm very well screwed.

2. My parents would probably forbid me

3. It's far too expensive and i don't want to trouble my parents.

4. I've been to Brisbane before (it was awesome)

5. I'd be very angry at myself if i were to go.

There these are my reasons. Quite reasonable right? *sigh* Although a tiny part of me wishes i could go. *shakes head to dismiss terrible thought* NO! i must not go! i must not go.... *sigh* i feel so restricted. i wanna cry... i know I'm such a loser sometimes.

well... All's not well that's still not well... but what can i say that's just life...

P.S. Natalie came back from Canada. ( i know you're the one that left the tag)

2008-07-08T21:23:00.002+08:00

hey! i just felt like posting today so i am. well I'm secretly doing this after i brain-washed my parents into thinking that I'm doing research for some project. muahahhaha. I'm so evil. i know. :D anyway.. I've just finished my AEP improvement holiday homework which i was suppose to do over the holidays but i kind of got lazy..hehheh. but still i finished it on time!!!:D well school has been the same as always...really terrible!!! okok it's not that bad but i still don't enjoy it. AND my new teacher! ARRGH!!!! the mere existence of one of them irritates me. I'm not going to give any names but you know who you are deep down inside. i know i sound very mean by saying that but i can't help it. that is really how i feel and I'm not gonna suppress my feeling because of her!

OK I'm starting to fall into some sad place. happy thoughts... happy thoughts.. OK I'm alright now. hahaha i sound like a mad person with some anger management issues. hhahahha. I'm so weird. that's basically all I've got for you. the post is pretty short and I'm sorry. when my life gets interesting i promise to write longer.

2008-06-24T17:07:00.002+08:00

hey yall! I feel like posting today... okok Leonard made me post(he thinks my blog isn't recent). He should have seen my blog last year is was like stagnant now it's considered quite good already. alright... so school has started and I'm slowly getting used to it again. It's tiring but i mean it's better than work. Poor mum and dad... anyway a week before school started I went to help out in one GKA (I'm mainly doing it for the CIP but who cares). It was AWESOME. i love GKA's their always so memorable. Like every time I go there I meet people and get free food!!! hahahaha food.... yeah it was so fun. i went with Stephanie, Natasha and Clara Low. oh and there was of course Leonard who came late every single day of the course. After the course was over i got really tan and now I'm almost as dark as Clarice. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing but it's defiantly a fact. I also got sunburned on my head and now it's peeling!!! AHHHH! It looks like dandruff!!! that's really bad.... oh well that's what happens when you don't wear a cap. must learn from my mistake.... I want the pictures from the GKA!!!! i wanna keep them for memory sake! OK I'm going to try and ask Rozita if she can send me the pictures through email. I really want the pictures :D

Ok. I think i need to start on my math homework now and hopefull do my AEP too. that's all for now! byeee:D

2008-06-14T13:22:00.007+08:00

hey! I'm just very bored today so i'll post pictures from my family trip to pulau ubin.

This isn't at pulau ubin. It's at changi point after we came back from the island. Nice right. believe it or not I actually took this picture.

This was taken around the same time as the previous one.

This one was when i was on the bung boat. I like it.

I like this cottage. It's just so nice look at. That little red thing is my sister running up to me. haha. she's so cute.

well that's all i got for you. :D

2008-06-12T21:44:00.003+08:00

hey yall. i'm back from camp! ok i've actually been back for three days now but i had to adjust to being back home first before I had the time to post. alright. camp was awesome!!! i absolutely enjoyed it. i mean it was very good spiritually as well as in the context of friends. my facilitators for the camp were natasha, kim and john. natasha is my class facilitator so being with her was ok. Kim was nice so no problem there either. but john.... i think he's very animated. he's like very cartoon. i don't know why he just seems like that. first he can eat sweets like nobody's business and then he's just weird. oh well... anyway my groupmates were laura, kelly,selina, timothy, don and andrew. laura is damn funny. kelly and selina are ok. timothy is like the only guy who hasn't lost his voice (other than john) the rest hardly talk so there's nothing much to say about them. overall i think i'm gonna miss the group. their rather fun to be with. *sigh* i miss camp.

speaking of missing.... i miss you nat!!! i know you're not in the best of moods but i really do hope you're ok. remember all of us back here love you. haizz.. i feel helpless mann. alright i'm going to finish up my homework now. see ya later.

2008-06-06T19:07:00.002+08:00

ok...so i'm going on camp this weekend (and monday). It's not an outdoorsy kinda camp in the jungle where you hide under a rock for dear life but it's still called a camp. It's a church camp to be precise. I don't know if i feel excited for it or scared. It's not that i haven't been to camps (actually i've been to many) it's just that i don't know how it will turn out. It is a church camp after all. Their probably gonna make you reflect on all the things you did and get very deep inside yourself and then you realise that you have been really bad and then you feel terrible inside but you can't get it out because there's no cupboard nearby that you can run into without being noticed....sigh... I'm ranting aren't I. It's just confusing. oh well...I guess I'll just have to be brave....oh crap.

alright... I promise to update on how the camp goes. now i gotta eat dinner and then I'm gonna watch Indiana Jones!!! yay! I think it's the crystal skull one. ok byeee.

2008-06-01T16:19:00.003+08:00

OK. I'm telling you this post isn't going to be as depressing as the others... OK fine I can't guarantee that it won't sad but it definitely won't be depressing. Today is the day of THE CLICK FIVE concert!!! Even though I can't go I still wanna acknowledge this day. I don't count myself as their biggest fan or a freaky fan who chase them everywhere but i do like either music even before they changed lead singer to the awesome Kyle Patrick. so yeah.. their here in Singapore today!!! :D I'm just happy that's all.

I'm going out with my mother tomorrow in celebration of her birthday which is on the 3rd of June. The 3rd of June isn't tomorrow but we need to celebrate it tomorrow sort of because of me. I kinda forgot that it was my mother's birthday this Tuesday and signed myself up for some CIP thingy. hehheh. I know I'm a really bad daughter for doing so but you can't totally blame me. CIP stuff are really hard to come by so it's important to seize the opportunity. yeah. So tomorrow will be a jam packed day with my mum and sister at vivo watching made of honour(which I've been wanting to watch) followed by shopping and a late lunch at either Marche or hogs breath cafe(in my opinion hogs breath is the best!). I know i wouldn't say this but i kinda wish my sister wasn't going. Coz i know she's definitely going to complain about a whole lot of stuff. *SIGH* little sisters...

And because I'm going out tomorrow I'm going to miss one day's worth of studying and that is bad. So to make up for it I'm going to study the whole night tonight. until about 1. yeah. i know nothing much of what I'm going to study will go into my head and stay there but it's just comforting to know I've done something. I'll probably end up doing AEP because i don't have to think very much for that subject. it's just drawing.

alright.. i have to start on my studying now. I'll try to post soon. and see this post wasn't that depressing, was it?

2008-05-25T15:05:00.000+08:00

ok..so my previous post was a bit too emotional. i'll try to make this one a little less depressing okay? Alright! The holidays have already started and I'm suppose to be happy about it. But I don't feel the least bit excited. Reason being that I'm going to have to use the holiday to study and that kinda seems to be the same as going to school. Oh Well...with the results i got i think i deserve to have such a holiday.

You know two of better teachers i have is leaving the school and abandoning our class. That's damn irritating... Already majority of my teacher suck(no offence but that's just my opinion) and then the two out of the four teachers who create a reason for me to even bother coming to school, leave. Now what is the freaking point of coming to school?!? It's just bloody unfair that all the good teachers leave the school. unfair!

*sigh* i guess that's just life for me, unfair. You know i was thinking... if life is so tough here in secondary school i have no idea how to get through the rest of my life. i'm not trying to sound suicidal but it's just something that got me thinking. It's going to be so challenging but i have no choice to get through it. I guess this is where God comes in. He'll be the one to help me pull through all the good and bad times. So i should stay strong and get through all that comes my way... yupp.. Oh crap.

2008-05-14T19:03:00.000+08:00

hey. I got back my some of my examination results today. well... it's somewhere along the line of terrible. 50 for history, 55 for chinese, 63 for english and 61 for science. I don't feel just sad because of my results. I feel disappointed, sad and angry with myself. Disappointed because I worked so hard for this mid years so very hard and I get such terrible results. Sad because I wanted so badly to do better than last year but I ended up deproving. Finally, angry because I don't know how to deal with so many emotions. I've cried so many times today. Everytime i talk about it I cry. I don't know how to deal with it. My tears just leak and leak like freaking water works. I try to stop but I can't.

I love my mum so much. She didn't scold me instead she encouraged me to try harder and suggest some tactic to improve my answers. She understood me where i didn't think she would. I'm so lucky to have her as my mother. I love her. My father on the other hand told me that I should put in more effort and try harder but i've already tried so hard i don't know how to do harder. I know he's disappointed and he wants me to do well but all i need is encouragement not someone to put me down and tell me this wasn't my hardest. For that I am very hurt. of all people, my father. I thought he would understand. Sometimes i think i don't really know my parents.

I love all my friends who understands my feelings and I'm not jealous that they did better than me. In fact i'm proud of them. They deserve to get what they did. Thank you all.

I wanto try harder and do better for my next examinations. I need to do better for the sake of my family, for the sake of my education and for the sake of myself. Even though this is half of my results I have already decided that i can and will put in all my effort to do better. i will. There is still hope for me out there...

2008-05-13T20:56:00.000+08:00

i still love this picture. genn rocks.. heehee( i know she'll be happy i said that)

hello all my great and awesome friends out there. ok.. i sound like some lunatic... haha! anyway.. my wonderful reason for not posting for what? two months? aiya..some where around there. that reason is that there was this little thing in my life, not that major, called EXAMS!!!! just a little hiccup in my exciting life.(you can sense the sarcasm right?) Oh well.. life's just like that. it irritates the crap out of people. :D i know i was suppose to continue my post like after that two months ago dinner but somehow i never did. ya i apologies for that. i was really busy after dinner and the rest of the days after that. yupp.. now i kinda finished my examination so ya i'm quite free.

today i went with chloe,rachel and regina to watch iron man. it was totally unplanned and i was freezing in the theatre. freezing.... but iron man was really good. the special effect were cool... like transformers. awesome.... :D but then again i find most of the movies i watch awesome. so i'm not the best critic. heehee. well at least i appreciate movies. yeah....

tomorrow, i think i'm gonna be checking my exam papers. so technically today is the finally day that i'm supposedly free. and i'm trying to enjoy it while it last. so that's all for this post yupp. i'll try to post more often for entertainment sake. :D

2008-03-22T18:03:00.001+08:00

literature irritates the hell out of me!!!!!! i'm doing a lit essay so don't mind my sudden esclaimation. It's so darn irritating i dunno what on earth this stupid question is asking of me. and i have to go for mass soon so if i don't do this essay fast i won't have enough time to finish it and the result of that is not very pleasant. i'm rambling. this sucks. okay let me start this post over.

hey all you people put there my name is joan and i don't like literature. :D i haven't been up to much during the past month. mostly studying. clara calls me a nerd which i'm not, so whatever. i still miss natalie. i wish she would come visit soon. wei jia has been rather high over the past week i don't quite know why. especially today. wait i got to eat dinner first. i'll be back to complete this post. but just to be safe i'll post this up first. :D
to be continued........

2008-02-04T16:15:00.000+08:00

Hey all. i'm finally updating. yay! i'm actually updating because Natalie asked me to do so and i cannot let my shifu down. so i must update. yeah! ok. so here's what's been going on in my life.
let me list it down for you.

1. the freaking new school year has started. i have found out that i have suckie and great teachers. majority are good but some are well....let's just say not up to standards.

2. it has only been a month and i have already been bombarded with projetcs which are not very applicable to my education. i have no idea why i'm even bothered to do such things. *sigh* i'm such a pushover.

3. then there was this english presentation that we are suppose to do for english which keeps postponing which affects the number of times i have to bake the same stupid cookies. so sian. bake and bake and bake.

4. Chinese new year is coming and that means loads and loads of money!!!! yay! money money money. i sound like a materialistic freak of nature. oh wells

5. point 4 leads me to this point. all the money that i collect this chinese will be going into my funds for next year's AEP trip to where ever their gonna take us. if my parents still don't allow me to go then all the money will go into university education. i doesn't hurt to start saving now.

6. i miss natalie. i miss her. that's the only thing i can say.

7. i all parent permits i will be going out this wednesday with clarice, clara, weijia and rachel to watch 27 dresses. which is, from what i have heard, a very good show. so i can't wait to see it. and eat the delicious nachos!! yum.... cheese....

ok i think that's all that's worth updating everyone about. the rest either can't be said on blogs or is not very important. yeah. so until my next grandmother story... :D

2008-01-01T16:17:00.001+08:00

Hey. Easy going days are ending in matter of hours i'm so upset i can't even rant about my problems because this is the worst problem right now and i can't think of anything worst than this. *sigh* i'm leaving now in peace to ponder on this terrible suituation. i'll get back to you soon wheni come up with a solution to the problem. and if i don't i'll leave quietly...

2007-11-21T22:34:00.000+08:00

Hello. It’s been a while since I last posted. And surprisingly enough, this time I don’t have reason. This is mainly because I have been free the whole time and yet I haven’t posted. I’m such a terrible person. I’m going back to my old habits of neglecting all the people who have faithfully bothered to read about me (I really don’t get why they do). How could I have done this…… I have no right to seek any form of forgiveness.

Oh Gosh… I’m getting way too dramatic for Joan’s standards. Alright I’ll be a nice person and spare you the torment. Moving on to the real reason for this posting.

My life.

Ok. Firstly, I’ve been vegging a lot. (for those who don’t know the meaning of that wonderful term which Clarice being a genius came up with, it means to not study at all and to lose a whole lot of brain cells in the process. It’s said not to be good after it being overdone) I’ve been doing so much that I think I forgot almost everything I learnt this past school year. Oh Damn… that’s bad. That’s very bad. Oh wells. At least I started studying next years stuff so I think I’m going to gain new brain cells. Yay!

Secondly, my computer went haywire yesterday and the internet didn’t work for the whole day! Do you know how much damage that cost me?!? Well it’s a lot. I was so darn bored for the whole day that I resorted to playing with my sister. Up till now I still don’t have the faintest idea as to what got into me. I actually listened to High school musical songs with my sister for a good one hour. Then, I got bored of that as well so I just laid on a random spot one the floor and started to shout random stuff. That most probably scared my maid a little because she was looking at me like I was siao or something. But I kinda was. When my dad came home from work, I complained to him so much that he got irritated too and went to fix the comp. While he fixed I watched my very problematic 9 o’ clock drama series on channel 8 to make myself feel better about my computer problem. Then, all of a sudden my dad came into the living room shouting “I did it” in Japanese like the character Hiro from the show Heroes. He did it! He fixed the comp! yippee! Goodbye boredom! Daddy is my life saver. I love daddy.

Yep. That’s basically my holiday so far. I think it’s been pretty interesting don’t you? No. it’s been friggin boring. I need something to do mann! To get me through this. At least I have the outing with cousin to cheer me up. I hope Clarice can make it for the outing too. It’s gonna be a lot of fun. I asked cousin what we’re going to do. She say we’re gonna eat lunch, take neos and be happy. Isn’t that a whole lot more interesting that what I have been doing with my life so far. Definitely. Yay! I can’t wait!

Alright that’s about all I have for this post. I will try my very best to post more often ok? Luv you all!

2007-10-27T13:14:00.000+08:00

What time is it? It's summer time! it's our vacation! ok, fine so it's not summer but it's our vacation. alright! it's not really a vaction when we have to go back to school like half the time but it still counts! right? right it does. alright moving one to the main stuff.

As you all already know school's out so i'll be having a little bit more free time. which is good. but because i got 19 place in class and all my friends got like 1 or 2 or anything with a one digit number position, i'm gonna study real hard. i'll start that the moment i get my sec 2 books. And i'm not kidding or just saying this. i really want to to well next year. i want to be NOT STUPID! yeah, that's basically my ambition for this holiday. i know you people don't think i'll won't do something so studious but i will prove you wrong. ha! you'll see.

moving on... i'm gonna get the click five cd when i go out with my friends. yay! and if i have enough money i'll get the faber drive cd. that is if the still sell it. but somehow i doubt it. it's pretty old. yeah... anyway i'll be watching stardust with my friends. it's gonna be so fun. ok maybe not that fun but it beats staying at home right? right. ok i got to go now. i have to clean up my room. it's been in a mess since exams began but that just proves that i studied. ok until next time.

Quote for the day: “Good friends are like stars.........You don't always see them, but you know they are always there."

2007-10-10T18:38:00.000+08:00

hey everyone! i'm baaaack! muahahaha. you can run but you can't hide from meeee!!! yay. ok i'm very weird, but i'm just happy so you can't blame me. you know, today marks the end of exams for the year. isn't that great!! ya, i think so too. anyways, i'm mostly blogging today because the exams are over so there's pretty much nothing to do. except the hard labour of cleaning my ever messy table. i don't feel like doing that today. i need a break to let my brain cells rot a bit. but i kinda let it rot too much by not doing anything at all so i'm a bit brain dead. which is not a good thing, because that means that i'll go crazy or very high during tmr's aep exam. (i know i said exams are over but aep can't actually be an exam because you can't study for it so ya.) ok so now i'm bored. i just ate dinner to shut my stomach up. It whines too much when it's hungry. yup, so now it's satisfied. uh huh! oh, did i tell you that i'm cutting my hair short this friday. i'm not doing it because i was forced to but because it's getting very humid here and i wanna cool down. cutting hair was the best solution.

btw the exams was quite um... challenging so i dunno if i will do well. any how it's done and there's nothing i can do about it but pray. yup. pray very hard. speaking of exams. do you know how much paper was used?!? it's absolutely damaging to the enviroment. tsk tsk tsk. the things schools imply these days. terrible! i know i always talk about this stupid topic but i can't help it. it's just the most ironic thing.

I miss natalie. she's been very busy lately. i tried to talk to her today but she was busy the whole time so alll i got to say was that exams are over and i miss her truck loads. that's all and she had to go. poor kid. i really miss talking to her. well, at least i know she's getting along well and she won't be lonely anymore. *sigh* i miss my shifu and all her sadisticness. you know, she was the only one who could shut clara up. at least for a while. i guess she's happy. and that's all that matters.

well that's all for this post. i hope the things will be more interesting next time. bye. :D

2007-09-30T17:14:00.000+08:00

hello again my dear friends. i don't know why but i just felt like blogging. maybe it's just an excuse to get away from my GEOGRAPHY exam revision (which btw is this coming wednesday) i just don't feel like studying! so even if i actually try and force myself nothing will go into my head. no point right. yup no point. so... i'm currently reading this wonderfully nice story on quizilla. and i've got nothing much to report about this weekend(except that i've been studying a whole lot ). i dunno what else to write. *sigh* i know my job is to write about my pathetic life but it so bad right now that i've got absolutely nothing to write. damn. i want popiah. ok, that was very random but i can't help it i just got this sudden urge to eat popiah. speaking of eating, today was a very weird day. i didn't feel hungry at all for once in my life.( not that i've lived for that long but yeah.) so i didn't eat anything filling until about 2pm. My mum says it's bad but i didn't want to eat! ok i'm starting to blabber a lot right now. i'll just go and leave you in peace ok? ok. tata. :)

2007-09-21T21:08:00.000+08:00

OMG i'm so sorry all you people out there. i didn't think anyone would be bothered to read my about my suckie life so i didn't post. sorry. ok i'll try to write an extra long post to make up for not writing. anyway. i've been damn busy studying and going for afternoon study and stuff. mainly studying. you know, clarice found out that some people in the class think we're nerds. she got so upset and then ms champion came in for science and said that being a nerd while studying is actually ok. i don't she quite agrees but i on the other hand don't really care if i'm a nerd or not. coz if peole don't like me just because i'm one, i'm not gonna change just for that reason. it's stupid. i mean wat does wat other people think affect u? maybe bruise a bit of ego but other than that nothing else. so in conclusion it doesn't matter wat othe peolpe think. that's life get over it. yeah....

ok that was a bunch of random rubbish. but still a theory i live by. yup! hmm wat else happened.... OH! my sister got admitted to hospital coz she fell and bumped her head then she started vomiting everything she ate. damn gross. but poor kid. she's been through more than me in life. First she fell at the age of 3 or 4 and bump her forehead at the conner of a wall. then, at the age of 5 she got dengue together with me. poor kid. but every hardship you go through makes you stronger! so jia you sister!! haha. i'm weird. eww! she's vomiting again. i feel sick now. i think i'm gonna hurl. *puke*

don't worry i didn't really puke. i just feel like it. oh you know, natalie this part only you will understand well enough. on thursday during EP, i finshed the project so i decided to read a little on quizilla but then our dear diandra asked for help. being the nice person that i am, i went over to help. (ok that was a but egoistical. oh well) i did like some of gwen's part of the work and then we were done. as diandra didn't know how to upload so i helped her. but one of her files could not upload so i got a little pissed and left. yes, i left duandra hanging there wondering wat to do with her life. isn't that like the nicest thing to do to your friend?hahaha. i'm sadistic. it kinda reminded me of the clarice incident. ahh.... good times. right shifu.

alright that's all i got for now so ya. until the next time i post when ever that is....

2007-09-05T15:43:00.000+08:00

hello all you people out there!!! you people are weird. why? because you're actually reading about my pathetic life and all the retarded things i do. now don't you thing that's weird? well if you don't that too bad. coz i'm writing the post. ha! ok, moving on to my terrible holidays. the holidays are filled with nothing but saddness and depression all because we have this thing called studying. this studying, makes children's life miserable. it kills all chances of us having a happy childhood. yes, i know that i'm actually very fortunate to be able to study and have a good eduction but if i didn't complain about studying i would have absolutely nothing to write in the blog. so there a serving of Joan's wonderful complains. And as if the studying was not bad enough we have homework on top of that. lots of homework if i may add. and as if all that were not bad enough i have my mother nagging at me to clean up my room. which reminds me i haven't actually done that. ok i'll do that once i'm done with this post. alright, wat else is ther to talk about? hmm... i don't the rest of my holidays was very interesting. but i'm not saying that studying was interesting, coz it's not. ok, i have no idea what i'm babbling about now. i'll just go now and leave you in peace to try and make sense of my wonderfully confusing post. until my next post that's all i have for you today. bye. :D

2007-08-31T20:18:00.001+08:00

oh gosh! this is like my second time writing this post because i accidently deleted the one i wrote previously. stupid me. anyway i said in my post that today is teacher's day celebrations. the concert was prettaye interesting...a bit weird though but fun. well...it was better than youth day that's for sure. but that's no the main activity of the day (for me at least). the main thing is the outing with my beloved family!!! We went to watch a movie and take neopics. They neopics turned out weird but it was fun taking it. you know we actually managed to squeeze 11 people into the little space we had. amazing. as for the movie, we watched hairspray. it was funny but a little weird. that was most probably because there was and man acting as a woman in the show and that's just sick and wrong. and worse of all the "woman" was married to a man. and that's so WRONG. but i can't do anything about it now can i? the movie overall was nice especially the songs. i'm gonna buy the soundtrack even if my parents have to say anything about it! hmph! okok, i know my parents will eventually have something to say but i don't wanna care.

When i got home. i heard my mother screaming at my sister. she seemed very angry. uh oh i think my sister's done for this time. my mother angry is not a pretty sight and my dad can testify for that. Anger in the house, great that just made my day. (dripping with sacarsam) well, i better go do something before i too get it from my mum. so that's it for today bye

2007-08-30T16:15:00.000+08:00

hello!!!! ok i know my blog sucks and that i haven't edited it for almost 8 months but i'm busy and my life isn't so interesting that the whole world would want to read about it so sometime i find that there is no point blogging. yup. and i also don't know why i'm doing it now. Maybe out of sheer boredom because CA2 just ended and there isn't very much to do...ok maybe there is very many things to do but i don't wanna do them i'd rather sit here in front of my computer and type. see i'm doing all this to atone for not writing. :) ok let's get down to business on the happenings of my pathetic life.

1. tomorrow is teacher's day. damn it. i haven't bought them presents. but i dunno wat to buy them. hmm... let's see. i could just buy them all red pens. but i think they have a lot of those already. hm... aiya i'll decide that later.

2. CAs just finshed but the teachers gave loads of homework as if the holiday was for months and months. i mean if they don't wanna spare a thought for us at least spare a thought for the poor trees. what ever happened to live earth and all that save the planet thing. mann! the world is contridicting themselve. in chinese we call that zi xiang mao dun. yay! i just used a proverb and a chinese one too!! i'm happy

3.i'm so excited i'm going out tmr with ah zok(Nic lummie), ahmama(stephanie), my elder sister(clarice), my younger sister(rachel), my first niece(serena), my second niece and darling(nicole yap), my youngers niece(zenia), serena's godmother Clara and zenia's godmother Weijia. Whoa. i just realised that it's quite alot of people. but no matter the more the merrier(i hope). we're gonna watch the movie hairspray. It looks well...um...interesting. yay! i can't wait.

4. this is the forth and finaly point of this post. i miss natalie. it's been almost a month i miss her. o wonder how's she's doing. i know that i can email here and all but it's not the same as face to face converstions i want her to come back. i know i'm being selfish but still! i miss being sadistic with her to clarice and people. i miss saying"ok girls class stand" to her. it always cracks her up. i dunno why though. i wish that she didn't have to go. (sigh) i also know that she's very lonely but really can't do anything about it. i want to but i can't. i'm sorry shifu. *sigh* oh great i just dampened my own mood. how smart.

alright that's enough nonsense for today. i'll write more the next time i post. which will be i'm not too sure when. well...until next time. bye:)

p.s. there's a image i like don't mind the retared words though. :)